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Expectations in a relationship.

Let's start by first defining what relationship means...It is the way two elements are connected to each other, it is also the bonds between two or more people or social groups as well as love bond, romance. The contact itself, the communication.


It is true that when two people start a relationship, each already has certain expectations of the other. And this is because they carry each person's past, fears and worries, the anxiety of not being hurt again or the desire to confirm their wishes. Unconsciously the person will enter the relationship with the defense mechanisms he has, thinking that in this way he will be protected. He will usually be attracted to the partner by behaviors or reactions, related to his own burning desires, by things that seem familiar to him and leave the person with a sense of security, as well as characteristics that he admires, that he is attracted to, not missing the repulsed ones, those that did not dare to be implemented.


And thus begins a "projection" to the other of all that you dream, imagine and expect, along with all that you want to offer without limits to the other. And there, you begin to gradually build more and more expectations, you allow yourself to invest, to dream, to enjoy. So far so good in theory, but when the realization begins that your partner does not respond to what you think or his participation begins to decrease, the manifestation of his interest, then frustration, anger, sadness, frustration inevitably arise.


The truth is that building realistic expectations within a relationship is a key pillar of personal success as well as the success of the relationship itself. By respecting the needs of the other, being able to listen to their wants, you feel and understand them. You separate your wants from his wants and protect yourself from constant disappointment. A basic mistake in a relationship is to keep waiting for your partner to change because you are guided by your feelings and objectivity stops prevailing. Only when your partner finds meaning in his change, realizes his mistakes and can put himself in your shoes and feel the impact of his behavior on you, is he able to change.


So let's conclude that everyone has their own personality, carries their own past and their own expectations, with a high probability that they may not have the same expectations as their partner. Examining the expectations regarding your own relationship, then the next step is to see if they satisfy you, and consequently if the relationship "fills" you, brings you joy and meaning to continue existing in it.


A relationship is like a dance of bodies, which needs two to be done, to seduce each other, with parallel steps, common rhythm, enjoyment, tenderness, "touch" and with a laughter of hearts and spirits..



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