Self-esteem is a word you should put in your vocabulary!
If your family and the important people in your life have tried to teach you values, they may have been able to teach you the basic value of self-esteem. It is a word of great importance and great power when you have it in your life, in a dominant position. Lately we have around us a lot of images of violent insanity, with violation of all kinds, verbal, physical and images that drum up the lack of respect. A lack of respect, however, not only of the person who commits the crime or violent act, but ultimately of the victim himself who has allowed the violation of respect for his person, at least once. Repeating the devaluation of yourself by the other can lead nowhere. Neither in relationships based on parity, nor in coexistence based on caring or interest. With mathematical precision this leads only to emotional misery and at worst it is your complete disappearance, which unfortunately means the death not only of the soul but also of the body ... extreme as well as tragically macabre. Self-respect is therefore one of the primary values we need to have and it means that you have the first and only reason of yourself, without allowing anyone to treat you, to mistreat you as it suits you. If you do not start with self-respect, you will not know how to ask for it from others around you. That you feel that you do not like it, that it does not suit you and in some way makes you feel uncomfortable, you have to "listen" to it and not bargain. Managing a manipulation is not always easy and this often traps you. You may be full of remorse, guilt when you react, you may feel uncomfortable, but you have to react, you have to respect yourself at least, because the other person will not do it on his own, even if he has such behavior. You can have no excuse when you repeatedly fall victim to a situation of abuse. You need to open your eyes and see the condition honestly to admit and find as much courage as you have to stop it or leave.
Make the beginning to show respect to yourself and start to love you more and more, start to forgive you, to be good with you to take care of you, to give you the best you have and to give generous respect to yourself and generously to him you ask !!